I should clarify: OTHER people's umbrellas are the bane of my existence.
How is it, that after 70 (or however many) years since the umbrella has been invented, that people STILL do not know proper umbrella etiquette? THERE ARE RULES, PEOPLE!! Unspoken, yes, but who actually enjoys getting smacked in the face by an umbrella?
Rule 1: When walking on a crowded street carrying an umbrella, and someone heading in the opposite direction, also holding an umbrella, walks past you, raise or lower your umbrella to avoid either the dreaded umbrella collision or smacking that person in the face. I cannot tell you how many times I've either been smacked in the face or doused with water after an umbrella collision. And being doused with water brings me to my next rule...
Rule 2: If you are getting off a bus or exiting a building with a wet umbrella, please be mindful if there are people near you. When you open your umbrella, it pops open with enough force to eject a fair amount of water on any poor, sad sacks standing within a 10 foot radius. Like me. Personally, I carry an umbrella to keep me dry from the rain. But it kinda defeats the purpose when you are spraying me with your second hand water.
Rule 3 (This rule has subsections, bare with me.): If you are getting ONTO PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION, you may NOT do the following things with your wet umbrella:
- Hold it in such a manner where it may drip on others. Seriously, dude, hold it over the aisle. I do not need your gross umbrella water all over my clothes. Or my head.
- DO NOT PLACE IT ON THE EMPTY SEAT NEXT TO YOU. You ruin the seat for anyone and everyone LITERALLY all day. No one wants to sit in your dirty puddle of water.
- IF YOU ARE SITTING, DO NOT PLACE IT IN SUCH A MANNER AS IT GETS THE PERSON SITTING NEXT TO YOU WET. I know, I know, it sounds a lot like the first one, but just this afternoon, a woman put her (not totally closed) umbrella in the space between my legs and hers. Guess who's legs it ended up resting on? My pants are still soaked. I sat in an awkward and obviously uncomfortable position until the woman who owned the umbrella finally noticed and moved it.
Well, that's all I have right now. What you guys got?
You know, I never thought about it being from AZ but you would think not everyone grew up in a waterless state. They should mandate etique classes.....
ReplyDeleteGood rules. Seems to me that etiquette is a matter of 2 very common things. Common sense and common decency. Okay maybe in this day and time both are at a premium.
ReplyDeleteIt's sort of funny that I never realized how little people know about the proper use of umbrellas until I moved to Boston. It rains frequently here, so it's not something they didn't learn because it doesn't rain. But I find that most people are so self-centered that they don't even consider other people may be affected by their gross misuse of something so common as an umbrella.
ReplyDeleteWhat I really hate is that umbrellas are getting RIDCIOUSLY HUGE! It was annoying enough when they started the double-wides because those ppl feel entitled just plow through everyone. Now I'm seeing TRIPLE WIDES. These umbrellas are like something you'd lay under at the beach. I've seen ones that look like they're bigger than the actual person carrying them.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah. All those jerks with their enormous golf umbrellas. They are the WORST. Those are the most common cause of umbrella collisions thanks to the fact that NO ONE understands how to walk in public with one.
ReplyDeleteThanx holly for spreading your wisdom.
ReplyDeleteI'd be selfish if I didn't.
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